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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28617114">Acacia</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacnightmares/pseuds/lilacnightmares'>lilacnightmares</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Flowers of Paradise [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mystic Messenger (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Degradation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreamsharing, Embarrassment, F/M, Flirting, Humiliation, Ray said No Wait, Self-Esteem Issues, Suggestive Themes, Suit Saeran said Torment Time, Taunting, Teasing, mature themes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:42:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,212</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28617114</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacnightmares/pseuds/lilacnightmares</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Concealed and hidden secrets left unspoken, but truly, how can they be secrets when they're already known? She finds herself between both Ray and Saeran as her desires for them burn like a wildfire set to blaze and destroy the land without mercy. How much of that is a projection and how much of that is a fact? </p><p>Set during Convallaria Majalias. A standalone fic that can read without reading any of the other stories in the series.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Saeran/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Flowers of Paradise [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1271537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Acacia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” she reassured him with a gentle voice. Wiping away the stray tears from his eyes with the flick of her thumbs on his cheeks, all she could do was be by his side to make sure that he felt safe. “I’m not going anywhere, Ray. Just relax, then we can talk about what’s wrong together, okay? How’s that sound?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could not remember when he came into the bedroom or why, but that didn’t matter to her, all she knew was that he was upset. Ray often never let himself stay long when he was upset. So, that’s why it was surprising that she had him here in her room, and why she was so swept up in the concern that he was so broken up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s…” he rasped, though Lila shushed him before he could finish his broken thought. “You can’t… </span>
  <em>
    <span>it’s…</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Breathe, Ray. Shhh, shhh...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head. Ray buried his face in the fabric of her shirt, unable to face what had made him so nervous in the first place. She had never seen him this nervous, at least not since she had seen him face V. That was the only person that had ever made him look so uneasy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The one person that had him scared enough to sink to his knees and plead for mercy and retribution. But, this? What had affected him this badly? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of a door opening behind her caught her attention, but she couldn’t turn all the way around to see who it was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nobody was allowed to come and see her other than Ray, and… </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rika</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, Rika came in the dead of night to make her feel uneasy and out of control of the situation that she resided in. Ray could barely visit in the daytime but it did happen time from time, and yet, he was right here. So, why was it that someone was here? The sun was still up. Ray was here. Rika couldn’t have possibly come here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, well, well,” a familiar voice came from the figure. “How pitiful. I should have checked here first, then. Of course, he runs to you the minute he doesn’t know what to do. Did you think that you could keep her away from me, marshmallow boy? That is so unlike you. You always run away when you know you’ve been beaten.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lila looked down, her eyes perplexed as she carded her fingers against his coarse locks. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span>. So, why… she turned her head to the side and immediately had regrets. Her breath caught in her throat as she found herself staring into the all too amused eyes of Saeran.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saeran?</span>
  </em>
  <span> She thought, eyes flickering once again between the two of them, confusion lining her soft features. It didn't make sense. A lot of things did not make sense. That was his voice… that was his face… and yet, they were in two places at once instead of how it was usually. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because they shared the same body, working in conjunction to get things done that needed to be done and endlessly lost in a debate of strong and weak. They were always locked in a struggle. It hurt her to have to watch but she couldn’t do a lot about it. This didn’t make any sense but her memory felt too fuzzy to understand why. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips were pulled into that familiar scowl, but his eyes spoke of the immediate danger that he held behind them. “What? You look confused. Pathetic little princess, oh, don’t tell me you’re just as bad as he is now. There’s nowhere else that you can go but here, don’t you remember? You’re always waiting in your toy box for me. So, why is there such a dazed look in your eyes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“…She doesn’t belong to you, Saeran,” came the muffled voice of Ray seconds later. He still couldn’t pull his head up to look at her or Saeran now. It was barely even audible, more of a broken whisper than anything else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saeran sneered, “Oh? She doesn’t belong to </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, airhead? Are you growing a backbone? Are you saying that she belongs to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took no time for him to cross the room. He paid no mind to the whimpers from Ray, he leaned closer and forced her to look directly at him, why even waste her lowly attention on something as pitiful and pathetic as him? His reasoning and rationale were easy to understand when you had this jaunting glare in your eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Lila tried to cut in but she felt Ray’s grasp tighter at the back of her shirt as he exhaled, sharply. He didn’t say anything but his grip tightened the more that Saeran tried to push her around and tell her what to do. “Stop—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s adorable, you think that you’re strong enough for that. We both know you’re too much of a coward to take what you want. You coddle her too much, you let her have too much freedom. That’s why she doesn’t give you what you want, and why she probably pities you more than anything… that’s why I bet she listens to those liars more than you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saeran did not care what he did, so long as he could kick on top of the ground that every single person walked on to ensure that his strength was so tried and true. It was what mattered. It had always shown in his choices and actions. Spite was his sword, his shield, and his choice from the first second that he was given one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His laugh was degrading, mean-spirited, and laced with amusement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence was his only response. Saeran clicked his tongue in distaste. “Mmm, that’s exactly what I thought. Not even gonna argue, are you? You know when you’ve been beaten, at the very least. You give up too early… that’s why all your pretty little toys are mine now and you won’t be getting them back now, or ever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t a toy. She wasn’t his to hurt. Ray wanted to plead and bemoan. But, his silence was fraught with shame and something that couldn't dare be spoken in this world. His grip stayed steadfast against the fabric of her sweater. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lila had nowhere to look but into Saeran's mint eyes as he stood there. She wasn’t happy with his words or how he spoke about Ray, but she wasn’t in a position to say anything to make him stop it here. She just wanted him to stop talking like that about everyone as if he knew everything. He didn’t know everything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, you can’t talk to—” she tried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t like it when she bit back against his words, but whenever she was able to find the use of her voice like this, he let her try to get it out before he smacked it right out of her hands with a jeer. “Stop while you’re ahead, toys are meant to be seen, not heard,” he hissed. “Or, do you want to wind up in the basement?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The grip he had on her face tightened as if to remind her that she wasn’t the one in charge here. He only let go when he felt like she had gotten the full picture for him. Saeran wiped his hand off on his sleeve as if to remove the trace of what he thought to be her filth. She only remembered to pull in a breath when he gave her the smallest bit of space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His disgust was written all over his face but he liked the way that she trembled like a cowering bunny in front of him. Like his prey, whimpering in the corner before the jaws of a predator gnashed their teeth without mercy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, doll,” he paused, mint eyes flickering between the two of them as he searched for his next source of pure twisted amusement. He changed his game plan right away. “You wouldn’t be so fond of your precious little marshmallow if you knew what he wanted to do to you. Oh, if you knew what he thought of you… mmm, you wouldn’t let him be that close to you. You’d be trembling and begging for me to take you instead.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lila couldn't hide her confusion. She had no clue what he was talking about. Ray had always been rather kind to her, if not a bit pushy. There would be lingering moments when she wanted him to do more and hold her hand but he had a lot of struggles with his nerves so she never pushed it much further than that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, don’t make that face. Don’t tell me that you’re so naïve to think that the man that hacked into your phone and wanted you to test a game that oh-so-very-much a lie is a saint,” he taunted. “Either you’re just as dumb as he is or you sincerely trust the monster in your closet. Why don’t you tell her what you want to do to her, Ray?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ray stiffened, but he wouldn’t dare look at Lila. It was almost as if he were guilty of whatever Saeran was implying. He always kept himself locked away, most of his thoughts and feelings kept away for reasons that she didn’t entirely understand but he did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For her safety, he often chided silence. Be it with V, or Rika, he would never say anything he may have assumed would lead to her suffering in any way. It wasn't always… she knew there was more to it. There had to be more to it. He made sure that she was safe from the elixir all of the time. He made sure that no person assumed she was doing wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t doubt him… she didn’t want to, but there was something about the way that Saeran laughed in his face that told her there was more to that story. But, she’d be too naïve to trust Saeran wholly… just as she knew there was a line in the sand with Ray as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See? He’s not trying to protest because he knows it’s the truth,” the growl was a low warning, but to who she wasn't sure. “I bet he’d just hate it if I told you every single depraved thought that he’s ever had about you… oh, then you’d never trust him again in your miserable life, and that would be the icing on the cake. Hahahaha…!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lila looked between Ray and Saeran, her brow lined with confusion as she struggled and strained to see if she could figure it out on her own. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to do that. There was always a strong line between what she had control over and what she didn’t. She always placed some of the more concerning thoughts to the side because she… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no doubt that she was infatuated and drawn in with the beckoning of an open hand as a soft smile drew her in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ray,” her voice sounded foreign against her lips. It was tentative and unsure, but she needed to know. Saeran made her question everything that she knew all the time that she was around him, and the way that he suffocated her with his presence was nothing to joke about. He always did this, he made her be forced to question everything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ray still wouldn’t look at her. His gaze rested on the floor rather than meet her eyes or the eyes of Saeran. Suddenly, his hands on her body were something she was very aware of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was always touching wherever she would allow him, knowing that when she didn’t protest or push him away from him that she was okay with it. His fingers would very often slip between hers, and if he was feeling particularly brazen after he’d got the chance to prove something to his enemies—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could feel the flat of his palm pressed against her cheek as he murmured such confidence from his normally trembling lips. Ray was always hard to read, and while she knew everything to expect from Saeran in the sense that his game was built on control and degradation—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was different with Ray. It had always been different with him. He wasn't an open book, and well, she could gauge the actions of Saeran on pure spite and anguish by a mile. But, Ray? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tried again, “Ray, what is he talking about?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Ray,” the knock at his name was not ignored. “What am</span>
  <em>
    <span> I </span>
  </em>
  <span>talking about? I can tell her all your shameful little secrets or you can tell her yourself I think it’s kind of me to give you a chance. I think I’ll let you pick for once, so, what’s it going to be? She’s going to be disgusted with you no matter what you choose, though.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was the smallest shake to his shoulders. It was often what he did before he cried. Ray turned his head and looked back at Lila, there was unease and fear written all over his eyes. Terror, even. He was often so very ashamed at the smallest of gestures so she couldn’t imagine what would make him look and act like this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time he took her hand, he questioned if he even had the right to do something like that, and even now, there was this look of shame… as if every action that he took was going to lead him to being hated or punished.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he started to say, a string of more apologies ready to follow after that statement. That wasn’t a denial of anything, that more confirmation that Ray had been hiding things again. She gave him the benefit of the doubt sometimes as she had started to understand who was controlling him—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, the fact was, with his lower lip tucked underneath his teeth, she could see guilt in his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” he continued, the grip of his hands tightening. “This isn’t what I— This isn’t... please don’t hate me. I know I’m shameful and wrong for my selfish desires. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable. I just wanted to… </span>
  <em>
    <span>I just</span>
  </em>
  <span>—” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words were nonsensical. It was hard to make himself admit anything. He wasn’t getting with the picture fast enough. Saeran’s foot stomped against the ground as he took two steps forward and quite literally wrenched Lila from his grasp, hard enough that Ray was smacked against the bed, forced to stare as Saeran did what he wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In Ray’s eyes, Saeran was strong. He had the strength that Ray lacked greatly and his actions were often done to protect and destroy in the same way, but it wasn’t the same when it came to the things that Saeran wanted. He loved to take anything that Ray wanted just so that he could prove that he was the better one and the strongest one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was that bully on the playground that took your toys and then broke them in front of you just because he could. Because he wanted to feel like his power would never die. His outstretched hand remained there in the air as he weighed if he could stand up to Saeran or not. It didn't budge but he knew he couldn't grab her or keep her by his side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had fallen in front of the traitor and she had to be the one to protect him. He had been trembling and scared. How is this any different? He hadn't grown stronger. He was nothing but a walking ball of faults that was lucky to be breathing. He was the useless Ray and this was the strongest Saeran. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re too cowardly to admit it yourself, then allow me to enlighten her myself on the matter,” Saeran began to say with a chuckle. “After all, you can’t even bring yourself to look into her eyes, much less claim your stake. What's yours is inevitably mine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had let go of Lila’s hands and instead placed his hands dangerously low on her hips that bordered on possessive and too close for comfort. In all those places that Ray had dared to fantasize about when he was close enough to feel her breath against his lips. He gave Ray one more taunting look to say, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘if only you weren’t such a pathetic airhead, then this wouldn’t be happening.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, he acted like he wasn’t even there as he turned his full attention back to Lila, simply delighting in the way she shivered as their bodies were impossibly close together. “That’s a start, huh? Now that the airhead is out of the way, anyway. You belong to me, there’s no doubt about that. And because you belong to me, well, I can do as I please.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lila opened her mouth to say something in protest, but only a whimper fell from her lips as his fingers curled into the ends of her hair and gave a firm yank and tug. He didn’t want to hear her say anything. Pain and silence were much better. Her voice was far too grating on his ears anyway, only when she whimpered his name did it please him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He liked that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saeran...!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me see,” Saeran hummed, almost thoughtful as he gave another pull to her hair so that she would be forced to look at him. “I seem to recall that he spent an awful amount of time looking at your photo. He just wouldn’t stop staring at you. He was so determined to remember your face in case the elixir took that from him just as it proved his weakness. A dangerously long amount of time thinking about how it would feel like to have those lips of yours put to use.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ray clenched his fist. It made him angry. It made him so angry that he could feel how hard he was clenching his teeth. If he could have broken his jaw, it might’ve happened at that moment. It might have happened if he let himself lose control. But, he couldn’t do that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What if she thought that he was a monster? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What if she hated him? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What if she thought he was disgusting? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s enough, stop,” his voice was sharp, and it was the most confidence that he could muster but it still wasn’t very loud or audible. Ray cursed himself for being so weak and useless. “Stop it, Saeran, that is enough.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was ignored. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now that I think about it, he also would use a handful of those times that you called him as fodder to add to his depraved acts as well,” his voice dropped dangerously low as Lila stared at him with wide eyes. She hadn’t said a word yet, only stared at him. “Oh? You thought those whimpers were from his headaches? What a horrible liar he was, or maybe, what a bad girl you are to pretend it was what he said.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop it,” Ray demanded, this time, his voice was louder, the flat of his palm pressing against the ground. “Stop it, Saeran!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s right,” he whispered. Lila stared at him as he spelled it out even more concretely as she didn’t seem to want to take the hint. “Your precious prince has been defiling you from the moment that he saw your face. He pretends like he’s ashamed of himself, but he’s been touching himself to the thought of you for months now. That’s right… that’s right. Every late-night call when you can’t sleep and check on him, he’s waiting for you to pick up, and he’s using your voice to—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saeran seemingly cut himself off as Lila felt a presence stand behind herself. She couldn’t turn to look but she knew that Ray had managed to pull himself off of the ground but his hands were still hovering in the air over her shoulders, not quite allowing his trembling appendages to touch her at this point. She knew he was there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t looking at her anymore, no, he was looking at Ray as if he’d won a contest and the prize was all his now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell her, Ray,” he sneered. “Tell her about every time you’ve gotten off to the sound of her voice. It’s no use hiding it, I know she’s an airhead, but she cannot possibly be stupid enough to believe anything you tell her. She just pities you, wants to spare your pathetic feelings all the time so she lets you think she hasn’t noticed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just to ring that point home, Saeran spun her around in his arms and rested his chin against her shoulder as she was forced to look at him. Ray’s mint eyes were fraught with insecurities and loathing towards himself, and quite possibly toward Saeran for putting him in this position in the first place. It didn’t take long for his hands to drop down to his sides. His cheeks were dusted red. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lila tried to offer him the mercy of looking away but Saeran caught her jaw and forced her to look at him directly once more. “No, no… you don’t get to look away. We’re teaching Ray a lesson right now about respect. After all, isn’t that so important to you? You’re always asking him if you can touch him or speak to him… how does it make you feel that he doesn’t return the same thing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She swallowed, dry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mind was swirling at an impossible rate with thoughts that she still couldn’t quite understand. It made her dazed, confused, and another part of her… shamelessly excited. Was it wrong of her to think that, though? She’d known one of those times for sure that he had lied to her about what he was doing and yet, she gave him the benefit of a doubt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gave him that because she felt ashamed of her desires. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How could she deny the way that he made her feel whenever her hands touched? It was like a spark or a small ember that dared to ensnare her within a wildfire. She had been shy for so long and being around Ray made her feel like she could be bolder, braver, even. Being with him made her want to try to do any little thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lila never allowed herself before taking the first step, but when she was with Ray, she felt compelled to take the lead because he didn’t know what to do. God, she would feel so daring some nights that she would slip her fingers underneath the fabric of his glove just to feel the warmth of his hands and that quiet tremor in his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t been able to bring herself to relieve any of that tension that had been budding since the moment that she met him. It was unbearable but the idea of thinking of Ray like that without him knowing… she never wanted to be scandalous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was so sweet and so kind to her, she never wanted to push him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She licked at her dry lips, brown eyes trembling underneath his watchful gaze as the silence in the room grew so dull the faint ticking of a clock could be heard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ray quietly mouthed his apology but that was all he could offer at that moment as he gave up pleading for her forgiveness. He seemed to think that the silence was her disgust. She felt her stomach twist with knots once more.  That’s not what she wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm?” a hum came from her throat. He was waiting for his answer and he wasn’t patient. “You’re quiet, princess. I’m starting to wonder if there’s anything in that head of yours. You’ve not given us any delicious reactions.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lila allowed herself to take in one breath, and then she reached up with one hand, reaching out toward Ray with that uncertain look crossing her eyes. Saeran wanted to see where she was going to take this so he didn’t stop her just yet. Her other hand pressed against Saeran’s forearm as he kept his palm pressed to the front of her throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ray stared at her hand as if his eyes were going to bulge out of his skull when she didn’t strike him for being so filthy. Yet, when he grew close enough, she interlocked their fingers and pulled him as close as she could manage. He gasped, widened mint eyes gazing into her own as confused as she had been just moments prior. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Ray,” she said, softly. “I’m not upset with you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared at her for the longest moment, “But, I—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It stunned him into silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, God,” a laugh broke from behind her as Saeran began to lose his cool. It seemed to be amusing to him, more than anything, to learn that they both were so hopelessly and pathetically looking for some kind of attention from another person who kept skewing the line of knowing and pretending not to know. “You’re telling me that you knew he was doing that the entire time? Oh, my God, the princess is twisted, after all.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” her voice was sharp as she looked back at him as much as she could manage from their current position. She had never been brave or bold but enough was enough. “You had no right whatsoever to share something private that was only Ray’s business, Saeran. Are you proud? Does it get you off to humiliate others? Well, it certainly doesn’t get me off. If anything, I’m disappointed in you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He scoffed, “As if that’s going to keep me awake at night.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lila turned her attention back to Ray, her features softening. She offered a sympathetic smile in his direction. “Ray, I…” she hesitated, and then her voice dropped to a delicate whisper. “I never said anything because I... I…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to make me feel better,” Ray cut her off, shaking his head, and looking down to where her small fingers laced with him. “I know I’m… no good, and that you deserve better than me. I’m sorry I… defiled your image for my selfish desires. Please, don’t forgive me. Don’t look at me, don’t even let me be in the same room as you… just… don’t leave entirely. If you're in paradise, I… that's enough.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” she said, stubbornly. “You don’t understand me, Ray. I never said anything because I thought you were too embarrassed to admit it to me. Why do you think that I— Why do you think that I always praised you… or said exactly what you asked me to say? I… I wanted to hear you. I liked hearing you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ray immediately loosened his hand from her grasp as he pressed it against his chest. His breath quickened, and that warmth that spread across his cheeks began to cover every part of him. He couldn’t hide it, nor could he hide the way that a quiet whimper escaped from his lips. He was so confused and—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A part of him was excited by her words. Another part of him was dangerously aware of the implications. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanted more if I’m being honest," her admittance was laced with her shame. "I wanted to tell you that it was okay and that I… how badly I wanted, no, how badly I want you, but I… I didn't want to rush you or anything because…" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lila leaned as close as she could to him with that longing gaze in her eyes. She managed to get just close enough that she nearly could touch his lips, those chapped lips that still tasted of sugar and honey, but not enough to feel them. She longed to kiss him, to reassure him, to give him a part of herself, and yet, she was kept away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I like you," she said. “I like you a lot, Ray.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saeran had grasped her hands with his own at a moment’s notice, clicking his tongue in distaste of the display in front of him. She pushed back against his hold but he had the benefit of size on his side, and she was left trapped against his chest with her hands caught tightly between just one of his hands and a sigh on his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How adorable," he jeered. "The two of you were made for each other, huh? Pathetically pining after someone who won't seem to take the hint whatsoever. I think she could do better. What about you, princess? Are you pleased settling for someone who can’t even get his dick wet without crying about it?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn't dignify him with a response and he didn't like that at all. She could get affectionate when it came to the pitiful cry baby but she never looked at him with those eyes, those ugly eyes and wandering gazes. He wanted it for himself, he wanted her to kick aside the airhead and see the symbol of his strength. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To see her ignore him, well… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice continued to chirp in her ear like a devil on her shoulder, "Don't you want a man that can give you what you want? Don't you want to have fun? Let out all of that desire and get relief? You'll never get it from him, not from this trembling airhead. But, me? We could make playtime so much sweeter." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn't hide the way she shivered, though, not from him. Lila whipped her gaze away from him with a low sigh. It didn't matter what she did or said, he knew, he knew from her reaction that she was holding back from him. He wasn't going to be upstaged by Ray of all people. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His free hand slid lower and lower as the fabric of her dress rose against her skin with a firm tug from her thrashing. She squirmed against his constraints but didn't verbally refuse him. That spurred a low chuckle as he toyed with what that could have meant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saeran," she mustered. "Wait…" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wait?" He countered, brow raised. "Not no, not stop, </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop Saeran, don't.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But, </span>
  <em>
    <span>wait, Saeran</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Now, that's interesting. Tell me, princess, if you're playing for honesty… then why don't you be honest with me, too? Ray shouldn’t get all of your attention. I'd love to hear how it is you feel about me… depraved thing, if Ray touching himself to the thought of you gets you off, then</span>
  <em>
    <span> I wonder</span>
  </em>
  <span>…" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips pressed against her throat without warning, tongue flickering over the familiar and still visible bite mark that he had sunk into her skin only a few days prior. It was a reminder of the way that she had squirmed against him and yet, fingers dangerously holding him close as she danced with the idea of letting him stay or telling him to go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if you like the way I touch you,” he murmured. If the airhead excited her just with the wave of his hand, well, the idea of Saeran's hand on her body must have been an aphrodisiac. “You’re always so… reactive.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What enticed him the most was the fact that Ray was subjected to watching all of this and the way that she seemed into him. Oh, no, she was into him, but he weighed the idea of if he was or if he just liked her because she was a pretty doll for him to torment. She liked it, and he knew that she liked it, she just didn’t want to admit it in front of Ray. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wanted to play princess...sweet, naive princess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You like this, don't you? You like being close to me, don't you? You like being here with me, don’t you? You want to tell me everything you’ve ever thought of me, don’ you? Your pulse is beating so fast right now. I want to see how fast we can get it, why don't we test that? Let's start with your honesty, tell me you want me just as badly as you want Ray." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could imagine her flushed cheeks, widened doe eyes, and the shame lining her features as she was forced to look at Ray as he revealed more and more of her supple skin to the chilly air of the room and he couldn’t do anything about it. The silence wasn't making him happy enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"One more chance, then, I said," he repeated himself once again, fingers dangerously close to her center. "Tell me the truth, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lila</span>
  </em>
  <span>." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That spurred a gasp as her eyes clenched shut. It wasn’t often that he said her actual name but when he did, it made her feel embarrassed about the fact his growls spurred warmth all over her body. "I… I— I do like you like that, Saeran,” the words hurriedly fell from her lips in a stutter. “But, why should I say it when— when this isn’t the right time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not the right time?” he paused if for a moment, letting his hands rest against her inner thigh with a low sigh. “Not the right time, huh? So, why is it that he gets a monopoly on your heart whenever he wants and I get nothing?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Ray doesn’t want to rush me to admit my desires as you do, and that’s the difference,” her voice was firm, and she looked back at him with those determined brown eyes that had made him hesitate every time he thought of how easy it would be to be rid of her once and for all. “You want the idea of me so badly that you haven’t even decided if that’s really what </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>want. Do you want me because you like me or because you want to hurt me, or because you want to prove that Ray never mattered? If you can’t tell me that you want me because you like me, you genuinely like me, then I can’t play this game with you, Saeran.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was enough for his grip to loosen on her so that she could spin around to face him. She tentatively bit at her lower lip and reached up to grasp at his cheek. The flat of her palm rested against the warmth of his face. She was tender, just as tender as she had been moments prior with Ray as she gazed up at him with that look in her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, I…” Lila trailed, looking at this angry man with a broken heart that didn’t know what he wanted or who he wanted to be. “I do like you, Saeran. I like you as much as I like Ray. I just wish that I knew you wanted me for the right reasons. Then, maybe this wouldn’t be as complicated… I want you, and I want Ray. But, that’s selfish of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes trailed back to Ray who was staring at her from the ground, his face unreadable as he met her gaze. “...” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m being selfish right now. I’m dreaming about what it would be to be able to be with both of you like this because my heart yearns for you both. And yet, I know that we’re not in the right place for us to pursue this. I can’t help my heart… and this is just me… wishing that I could confront the both of you with my heart.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lila sighed, “I guess, that’s just how it goes. I’m still asleep in this room, and I can’t even escape my feelings in my dreams. I kissed you, Ray, and I could never tell you how I felt, and now… I’ve figured out that I want to do the same with Saeran, but he’s missing right now and this is the closest I can be with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wouldn’t change anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those mint eyes were eyeing her closely. Even though she was sure that this was a dream, they still felt like the real thing. Her fingers dug into the collar of his jacket to pull her down to her height, as her lips pressed against his just for a fleeting moment. “I know you’re hurting so much,” she murmured. “But, you don’t have to hurt others to protect yourself. You’re strong enough without that anger.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She extended her hand to Ray who tentatively took it from her grasp. She managed a smile at him, and it warmed her heart to see him, even in a dream, smile back. Even though it was just a dream, she felt it was far too easy to press her lips to his knuckles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you’re perfect just the way you are,” she said. “You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not with me, I’ll always like you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If only she had this courage when she was awake. Maybe it may have given her the strength to protect them when she felt all was lost. And she would wake up not long after that, hair tussled from tossing and turning and sunlight pouring into the room from the morning hours. Though she wouldn’t know it, someone else was waking up hidden deep within the gardens of Magenta—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feelings muddled with confusion and sorrow…. And maybe, just maybe? Hope. </span>
</p>
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